Confessions tagged with 'love'.




I am a 27 y.o. petite, black female who has been sexually and physically abused through most of my twenties. I guess it stems from the fact that my mom and oldest sister were in odd relationships with guys that beat them up. By odd, I mean the guys they were seeing were much younger than them. My mom was 45 when she was seeing a 20 y.o. white guy who had beaten her up I think 3 times. My sister was 21 when she was fucking a Mexican boy who was only 15. I came home one day to see her naked and him on top of her punching her repeatedly in the face. He got off her when he saw me and ran out of the house but, I could tell he had been beating her for awhile. Her nose and mouth were bloody. She eventually had a black eye and bruises on her body.

My odyssey starts back when I was 18. I met a guy at my job and after a few months of hanging out together, we started officially dating. We dated for just short of 3 years when I found out he cheated on me. Then he left me for this other, older woman. I was incredibly heartbroken. He was my first true bf and I really loved him. At any rate, I went spiraling downward. I started drinking heavily to the point I would blackout, wake up the next day and not remember the night before. I also was talking to a lot of random guys to the tune that I would end up letting them get me drunk and then fuck me. This all came to a head one night that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

This happened a few months later of still basically "whoring around", I met this Mexican guy when I was working at a convivence store. He asked me for my number a few times and I finally gave it to him. We flirted on the phone a few times then he asked me to hang out with him on a Friday night. I went with him that night and we were really just driving around drinking and smoking some weed. Anyhow, we wound up at a park late and parked. We got out and was walking. He wanted to have sex with me but, I just wasn't to into him so I just said no. I just hung around to drink and smoke. But, he kept trying and then we started arguing about it as we were both high. He tried to hold me and I pushed him off me and then he got really mad and hit me in my mouth and knocked me down. He told me he was going to kick my black ass. He kicked me 2 or 3 times and then he got on top of me, pinned my arms to the ground and proceeded to start beating me up really good. After he was finally done kicking my ass, he got under my dress, pulled down my panties and started fingering my pussy. Then he pulled out his cock, shoved it inside and started fucking me. He hit me some while screwing me. He finished by cuming inside me. After he got off me, he spread my legs and kicked me in my pussy. He got in his car and left me there.

I don't remember how much time passed but, this grungy looking white guy came along. We looked at each other and then I asked if he could help me. I told him I had just got beaten up and raped. He just looked at me and said, nigger, this just ain't your lucky day. He then kicked me in my face and then my ass. After that, he got me on my stomach and then forced himself in and fucked me in my ass. He finished by cumming in my ass. After a few minutes, he got off me. He must have saw what happened to me earlier because he said, nigger, if you think that bean eating spic fucked you up, you ain't seen nothing yet bitch. He picked me up and slammed me to the ground. He stomped my stomach and then kicked me repeatedly in my body. Then he got on top of me and began hitting everywhere on my body and in my face. When he finally finish beating the shit out of me, I think he dragged me behind some bushes and left me there. I say I think because, the next thing I remember was waking up in that park when the sun was coming up. I managed to walk to a local store where the clerk asked what happened to me. I told her and they wanted to call the police but, I just asked them to get me a ride home and I will take care of it from there. My mom and I called the police and told what happened. They did arrest the Mexican kid and he was convicted of battery and rape.

Over the next 2 years, I really thought I had my life in order. I was 24, I stopped dating and went to school and got my AA in education. I then got a job as a tutor with a tutoring service. However, the next 2 years would find me in an abusive relationship.

I got an assignment to tutor a high school 10th grader named Eduardo. He was a 15 y.o. Mexican but, he was not your typical small Mexican boy. He was 6 2, about 185 pounds, very muscular and really good looking. When I saw him, I just said to myself why couldn't he be older. He was on his high school varsity football team. His grades were good already but, his coach didn't want him to become ineligible because he lost track of his school work. He was thought to have a very promising future playing football. He lived with his mother and his little sister who was 13. Anyway, we started our sessions that were twice a week. The first month or so it was a typical tutor/student interaction about the lessons. Little by little, we started having regular conversations. For being so young, he was very charming. To skip a lot of details, even though he was my student and only 15, I found myself attracted to him. He then asked me for my phone number and, against my better judgement, I gave it to him. But I just said he could only call me for education purposes however, we both knew why he asked for it. We started flirting over the phone and then one day after a tutoring session he asked me to go out with him to the movies. He had just turned 16 that week so, I said yes. So we made the date for that Saturday night as he had a football game that Friday night. I came that night to go out with him. I dressed up really nice, a nice white dress, stiletto pumps, nails done, etc. That's how attracted I was to him. When I got there, we were alone as his mom and sister were out. We were in his room and we started talking and then a little flirting and then we kissed for the first time and kept kissing. One thing led to another and we were in bed together and I let him fuck me for the first time. It was the first time I had been fucked since I had been beaten and raped. After he got done fucking me, we went the movies as planned.

Over the next 3 weeks, when I wasn't tutoring him, I would go meet him at his school after his practice and spend a little time with him. We would fuck when we got the chance. As time wore on, Eddie told me that his mom asked him is something going on between us. His mom was an alcoholic but, she paid attention to stuff. She actually texted me to come see her on a day when I wasn't tutoring Eddie and he was at football practice. I went there and sat with her and she was drinking. She asked me if I was dating Eddie. I said of course not but, I could tell she didn't believe me. Then she said "just because I like to drink don't mean I don't know what goes on under my own roof. I don't care if Eddie fucks you even if he is underage. You are pretty and my boy is very handsome so, I can understand why the 2 of you would want to date and fuck each other." She asked me if I knew that he fucks his sister and I was shocked that she knew. I knew he did because we had a 3some one time even though she was only 13. Then she told me she knew about our 3some as well. I was stunned when she told me she knew. She said she didn't mind because as long as he and her daughter were at home, she knew they were safe from harm out on the streets. While she was talking she was holding my hand. She then took me to her room and started explaining to me that Eddie can be very violent. That their family has a history of men beating women. Eddie's dad used to beat her up, his grandfather used beat his grandmother, her 2 brothers, Eddie's uncles, beat up their wives or gfs. Eddie had also beaten up his previous gf.

While this conversation was going on though, she was seducing me. She was feeling on my legs. She was aggressive. She asked me did I want to have sex with her, I just looked at her and she started kissing me and rubbing my pussy. I asked what if Eddie or Letty (that's Eddie's sister) comes in and she responded "either one would probably take off their clothes and join us, especially Eddie." I asked, you would let your own son fuck you? And she said under the circumstances, YES!!!!!!! She then laid me on the bed and went down and ate my pussy until I came. She then went to her drawer and got a strap on dildo and proceeded to get on top and fuck me. After we finished and I was leaving, she reminded me that Eddie can be really violent. That should have told me to get out of this relationship but, I didn't. Soon, I was about to experience the violent side of Eddie.

One Saturday night, we went to one of his teammate's house where he was giving an unsupervised house party. It would be the first time he beat me up. There was underage drinking going on and Eddie was starting to get drunk. It was getting late and I wanted to get him home before he got too drunk. We were outside in the back yard and after a couple of times of asking to go, I told him that if he didn't leave with me now, I was going to leave without him and he could get his own ride home. He like grabbed my arm and said "bitch, you ain't going nowhere" and he slapped the shit out of me. So hard, I fell down to the ground. He got on top of me and started punching me in the face. A couple of guys finally pulled him off me. I got up and started running into the house but, he caught and tackled me to the floor. He started hitting me again. A few girls were saying stop hitting her but, nobody really did anything to stop him. I think everyone there was afraid of him. He then got off me, grabbed me by my hair, said "I'm gonna kick your black, mother fuckin ass" and pulled me into a bedroom, locked the door and he beat the living shit out of me. He slammed me against the wall face first. He threw me into a dresser. On the floor, he kicked me several times. He then got on top of me and hit me over and over and yelling at me. After he was finished, I was a bloody mess. He got a towel and cleaned me up a little, then he made me drive us to his house. His mom saw me and asked what happened and we said some girls at the party jumped me and beat me up. She looked at me and I knew she knew Eddie did this to me.

Every time he beat me up, he always apologized afterwards and said he wouldn't do it again but, like all abusers, he did. I actually was in love with Eddie, even though he was only 16 and I was 25 by this time. That's why I kept going back to him.

He was getting angry more frequently and quicker. One of his teammates told me that he was taking steroids and that was one of the reasons he so was violent. One time, him and his mom were arguing and I guess she told him that me and her had sex that time when she called me to come see her. One night after we went on a date, he beat me up because of that. Saying that I cheated on him with his own mother. One time, I let him and 5 of his teammates fuck me kinda to make up for having sex with his mom. He wanted me to do it again and I refused so, he kicked my ass for that. One other time he wanted me to fuck him and one teammate and I said no but, him AND his teammate beat me up and then fucked me. After about nearly 2 years and about 4 or 5 other beatings I took, I told him I was through with him, and like always, he said he would change. This time though I meant it. So, I guess as his parting gift to me, he really beat the fuck out of me one last time.

I never called the police on him because I didn't want them to find out I was having sex with a minor and I always hoped he would he see how much I really loved him. I haven't seen him in over a year now. He has graduated high school and in college now from what I heard. As crazy as this sounds, I miss him. I know I may sound pathetic but, I can't help how I feel for him. We had a lot of good times together. I don't really hold any resentment to his treatment of me. I just hope he's doing good. He is a really good young man with demons. I hope he doesn't beat up any other girls like he did me.




I am a 45 yo divorced man and I confess that I’m dating a woman I have no interest in because of her beautiful 7 yo son. I have read so many fantasies on her that I hesitate to post a true confession, but here goes. Katie, the girl I met on a dating app is sexy by all conversational standards, she is thin, tanned in shape and oozes sex appeal and while she loves me, I don’t even notice her. Instead I am 100% head over heels with her son, a fact she is aware of and tolerates if not encourages for whatever reason. Her boy Dixon is a gorgeous little thing with blond curls and tanned skin like his mother. I spend almost all of my free time with him and I’m head over heels in love with this boy. I’m obsessed with clothing him in white cotton panties and skimpy sun dresses as he is a very feminine boy. His mother often trusts me to take him for several days at a time which I very much look forward to doing several times a month. We like to go out on what I describe to him as “dates.” Being as feminine as he is and wearing tight dresses, most everyone just assumes that he’s a girl. I enjoy holding his petite little hands in public and maybe when no one is looking, I will kiss him as if he were a woman. Then there are the handful of times we’ve made love. Usually in my car in a mall parking lot or at a cheap by the hour motel. I call him “baby, baby doll, lover, sweet child” and other terms of endearment. He has a spall wiry little body and a well shaped butt that attract all kinds of grown men at the places we hang out. I will often introduce him as my”girlfriend” in public and most people understand that we are involved in a loving sexual relationship. This relationship has been going on for 4 months now and I’m going to ask his mother if he can move in with me. If I have to touch her pussy one more time, I’m going to puke.




My godfather started to fondle, wank and suck my dick when I was around 7 years old, and I still let him, even in my late 30s. He is in his mid 70s today.

I'm married to a beautiful lwoman, but the way he treats my penis and swallows my load is out of this world, and I don't want it to end. I didn't like his sucking as much back when I was 7. It kind of tickled too much. It felt good and unpleasant at the same time. But I have always been special to him, so I didn't complained and I loved him very much then, and I still does. From time to time I sucked his penis too, but only if it was my own choice. He never forced me. His precum and sperm was salty and sticky, so I didn't felt any needs to swallows as he did. Actually I didn't liked it that much, but I did it because I knew he loved it, and I liked the way he responded when I took his cock in my mouth. He was married to a nice woman (she died 8 years ago), but she never wanted to give him oral pleasure. He eventually swallowed my first ejaculation when I was 11. I didn't understand what actually happened, but my body sort of exploded in heavenly spasm. I saw tears in his eyes when I looked at him right after, and thought I had done something wrong. But he just smiled at me and said he was the luckiest man on earth.

I don't know how many gallons of my sperm he has been eating during the years, but his throat is always willing to receive more of my juice. The worst day of my life will be the day he dies. I will miss him badly.

As a note - I have never considered to report him to anyone. And I have never told a soul about this. This is the first time I confess about my gay experiences with my godfather - anonymously of course. And I have never felt any shame, guilt or harm about this long lasting secret.




I was almost 5 years old the first time I experienced something erotic, and which I remember as a thrilling experience. I was with my great-grandmother in a sleeping compartment on a train. There were bunk beds in the compartment, but my great-grandmother said I could sleep with her. This was in 1971, so I peed in a so-called pee bucket before we went to bed. So did my great-grandmother, who at the time was close to 70 years old and a fantastic lady, and whom I was very fond of. After we finished getting ready for the night, I became aware of how nice, smooth and beautiful the underwear she wore; pinup style. When we had laid down, I lay next to her bottom in a spooning position, and my pee got really stiff. "Do you like great-grandmother that much?" - she asked, while laughing lovingly and patting me on the side of the ass with her free right hand. I confirmed that it felt so good to lie like that. She positioned her ass in such a way that my pee slipped into her butthole, outside her panty fabric. I was naked. This is how I lay and felt this delicious and tickling feeling, and with instinctive jerking movements before I fell asleep. Great grandmother said nothing more, neither then nor later. At another time (I was still 5 years old) I lived for a while with my grandmother's sister (great grandmothers offspring), and while living there I got shingles. She got hold of an ointment from the doctor, which she was supposed to apply to me. I was completely naked when she applied the salve, and when she smeared my crotch my pee got really stiff. She grabbed it and massaged it while she laughed. Her husband was sitting nearby. He laughed too. I remember this as a nice and innocent experience. Later, when I had turned 7 and started school, I became friends with another boy in the class. He showed me porn magazines that his father had. He wanted to do what the people in the magazines did, and we took off our clothes. Suddenly we were in the 69 position and he took my stiff pecker in his mouth. It was so delicious that I started shaking all over. Suddenly he asked if I wanted to suck him too. I saw clear liquid oozing out of his pee and didn't know it was precum at the time. I tasted it and I remember it was just a little salty and smooth. I liked it. But it was hard to concentrate on his pee when it felt so good in my own dick. So we decided to take turns sucking each other. He could really suck that boy. It was so delicious. My whole body shook, and suddenly I almost fainted. Today I know I had my first (dry) orgasm. Afterwards I did as he had done. He also had a dry orgasm. We did this until the third grade. After this I moved to another part of the city I lived in. I was then 9 years old, and lost contact with my sucking and jerking friend. This was my first sexual experience of many. Maybe I'll write more later. Sorry for my limited English. English is not my main language.




In the summer holidays of 1977, when I was a 9-year-old boy, I stayed with my aunt somewhere in the country I live in. She was married and at the time she had two small children, a girl of 4 and a boy of 2. Every morning I was allowed to be in bed with my aunt and her children, after her husband had gone to work. One of those mornings, her two children were playing on the floor by the bed, and I was lying alone next to my aunt. She pulled me close, and I got to lie on her shoulder. At the same time, she stroked my back with her right hand, while she took her left hand on my right hand and placed it on her lower stomach. I could feel her pubic hair with my little finger and I got a rock hard erection. My heart was pounding, and I was breathing heavily. She noticed this and suddenly I felt her right hand move around my thin body and she grabbed my boy cock. I was in heaven and both swallowed and breathed heavily. She jerked my cock so deliciously and gently, while talking sweetly to me. "Are you OK?" Does it feel good?" I couldn't say anything. I just nodded my head. As she caressed my cock, she brought my right hand down to her pussy. She took my index finger and middle finger together and placed them on what I today know is the clitoris. She used my fingers to massage herself while caressing my cock. It didn't take long for my whole body to shake and a powerful ecstasy hit me. My cock pumped in her hand as the dry orgasm waved through my body. She continued to rub my fingers in her pussy while I lay there in an orgasmic frenzy. But suddenly she stopped and her body went completely stiff and there was a sound I had not heard from a grown woman before. I was a little scared , and thought she was very ill. "Aunt, are you sick or in pain?" - I asked a little anxiously. "No" - she said smiling - "I'm just very, very well, and you're such a good boy" - she said smiling. I was so happy. I still had my fingers between her labia and she led my fingers further down. "Do you feel how wet it is?" - she asked. - "Yes, do you peed yourself?" - I asked. - "No" - she said while laughing friendly - "that's how it is when girls play with their pee" - she said. - "Its because a girls pee need to be smooth and wet before the man sticks his pee into the hole you can feel, but you should wait until you are bigger and have become a man before you do that to a girl" - she said. - "Okay" - I said, and didn't think about it any more. I was still euphoric after the cuddle time with my aunt. - "Now we're going to get up and wash ourselves, and after that we're going to have breakfast" - said my aunt, as she got up from the bed. She was naked and I looked at her body as she put on a dressing gown. She suddenly sat down on the bed again, and looked at me a little sternly, while putting her hands on either side of my face. Seriously, she said you can never tell anyone about this, because it was illegal for her as a grown woman to cuddle with me who was a little boy like that. And that there was going to be a lot of noise and nonsense if I told anyone about it. I promised her I would never tell (Which I never did either) Nothing more sexual happened with my aunt that summer, but she was good and kind. I received both the closeness and care that all children need. We never talked about what happened that morning, but for me it is a very good memory.

Sorry for my limited English. English is not my main language.




When I was 12 my brother was 16 and I always looked up to him as far as I saw it he could do not wrong. One night I looked over at his bed and under the covers he was jerking off. I guess he was not coming and he was talking to himself. I asked him what was wrong and he said my balls are aching I can't seem to come tonight. I said I am sorry that you are in pain can you just go to sleep and it will get better. No, he said I just have to come that's all. I asked if there was anything that I could do to help. He said come over here and get it bed with me. I went over to his bed and he was naked and playing with himself. I got into the bed and he said put your hand on my cock and rub it for me. I did and after a few minutes of me rubbing it he said this isn't working put it in your mouth and suck it please my balls are killing me.

I have always done just what my brother had asked me to so I put his cock in my mouth and started sucking on it. He said you are making it feel so good keep it up and I did and then he whispered I am going to come suck it deep in your mouth. He was right his juice started squirting into my mouth it was warm and I like that I was helping him.

I went back over to my bed and I felt good that I had helped my brother.

The next he needed help the next week and so I knew what I had to do and he liked it.

The next week he had a friend over and they were in our room and I was watching tv in the den and my brother came in and said I need you to come in here with me. I was a little surprised because most of the time when he has friends over they wouldn't let me in the room.

When I walked in after him he said my friend Billy has a problem his balls feel like they are going to burst and he is it pain and I told him how you helped me. Billy said can you help me my balls are giving me real pains. He took out his cock and it was hard and bigger then my brothers. I told him I will try to help so I took his cock into my mouth and started sucking on it.

He said you are doing a good job I need to come so keep sucking. Before long he was coming in my mouth and he did so much that it was running down my chin and he laughed.

It wasn't long after that my brother was having many friends over with the same problem.

The good thing was that now I could be in with the guys anytime they came over.




I love naked young white blonde or redhaired boys. Five to ten years old. No ugly body hair and they are so sexy and beautiful; sleek feminine bodies with lucious flat chests. No facial hair and no ugly pubic hair. Their dicks are perfect and so beautiful, and how they are so hard and bouncy like springs. To suck and make love to a boy’s dick is simply devine. To watch the pleasure on a preteen prepubecent boy that you are hopelessly in love with as you suck him to orgasm is worth a thousand words. Doing it for him because you as a man are so in love with him that you want only to make him feel the intense pleasure that he gives you when he sucks you to cum. You are so in love with him that were it not taboo, you would put the darling in a wedding dress and marry him. To have him all to yourself, never to cause him pain, but to give his dick the orgasms it deserves, and brush his long luxiurious hair with a brush. To message his shoulders and feet and to whisper words of love in his ear as you spoon with him. His body is slick with oil as your dick slides between his soft feminine butt cheeks. You cum in the spooning and as you hold your eight year old boy-wife to your chest, your heart is beating with love for him. He is the love of your life and would die for him, your precious little boy-wife.