One time I was so wasted that while I was sitting on my toilet having a shit I spontaneously threw up. I tried to get it between my legs and into the toilet, which seemed like a good idea because I was so drunk, but I missed and got it all over my dick. I had to have a shower immediately.

I don't remember cleaning up my own vommit off the ground but I must've. However, if I didn't clean it up my cousin was staying over that night and she had one too many shots and apparently threw up three times so she would've got blamed for any mess the next morning.