I want nothing so much as an older man to use me like a cheap whore. I crave being forced to suck him and his friends, to be used as a fuck toy.

I had this once. My ex took me to a swingers hotel and made me be a complete slut for five men, as punishment for saying no to oral sex.

He invited the men to our room. I was tied naked, facedown, with pillows raising my ass.

He explained my transgression, and said I needed to be punished.

I still get profoundly aroused at the memory of his voice, the chuckles of the men.

I felt humiliated, exposed, ashamed, and I wanted more.

He spanked me with a riding crop. Then asked if anyone else wanted to do it.

Three men did, calling me a disobedient slut as they cropped my ass raw.

They asked me if I was enjoying it, as I was leaking and dripping.

My ex told me I had to answer.

I was crying, but...they were right...I was enjoying it.

I had to keep repeating my disobedience, that I’d denied my husband a blow job.

I saw camera flashes.

The two additional men fucked my mouth as the cropping continued.

My ex asked if I’d learned my lesson.

I whimpered yes.

He then told the men they could fuck me, and each of them did while he called me names, and encouraged the men to talk meanly to me.

To this day I can come from a partner asking if I like being a cocksucker. I encourage them to use humiliating language.

I’d go back to that night in a second.