I'm 46 yrs. old and have never told anyone about my experience from the time I was 11 until I 19. My mother was very ill and bedridden at the time and died shortly afterwards. I don't remember my father and was told he left when I was 3. My mother gave guardianship of me to her best friend Vera, who I had known all my 11 years at the time and never had kids or was ever married. Three days ago we buried Vera and I can't help thinking about the 7 plus years I lived with her. Before I say the bizarre things that went on I have to say she was also very good and generous to me. When I did move away after joining the Army I always kept in touch with her and saw her as much as possible. In her will she left me her house a car and a sizable amount of money. At 11 years old I never thought to much about my nudity around her simply because she had babysat for me many times prior to me living with her. She was strict with me as far a school work and raising me but also treated me like a baby all those years. it all began with her obsessive need of cleanliness not just with the house but also of me. At 11 I admit skipping a shower or bath but that ended when I lived with her since she began bathing me every evening. When I say bathing me I mean she washed my body head to foot and would have me bend over to wash my anal area not to mention my genitals. It did embarrass me somewhat but after the first month or so I got so used to her doing it and seeing me naked I didn't have any problems with it. I have always been very light skinned and for that reason also she would rub in baby lotion all over my body once or twice a week. There was nothing sexual about it even when she rubbed the baby lotion on my penis, scrotum and anus. She seldom scolded me unless I deserved it and treated me as good or better than my own mother. As I got older I think I was so used to her seeing me naked I didn't have much thought about it. When I was between 12 and 13 I began taking a shower but Vera always insisted being with me in the bathroom obsessed with making sure I washed properly. She continued putting the baby oil on me once or twice a week and one night, I think a few months after I turned 12, I couldn't prevent getting an erection. It embarrassed me but Vera just smiled at first and for more than an hour we had a discussion about sex. She assured me it was natural for me to get an erection and I shouldn't be embarrassed about it. She never bathed me after that but most of the time was there when I showered and began putting the baby lotionl on me mostly twice each week. Every time she rubbed it into my penis and scrotum I got an erection again and that's when she asked and told me it was alright if I masturbated. Then after about 6 weeks of me getting an erection she had me admit I masturbated after she put the baby lotion on me. The following week as she did this I got an erection right away and she persuaded me to masturbate in front of her and I began jerking off with her watching me mostly twice a week up until I joined the Army. Once I moved out I began wondering if it could have been child abuse but the fact is she never jerked me off and in all those years I never saw her in anything less than a nightgown. Even when I was 19 I was not embarrassed at all when she saw me shower and when I think about it should have been humiliated when she rubbed on the baby lotion. I lay on my bed naked and let her put it on me and when she got to my genitals she would have me fully exposed to her. She not only rubbed it on my penis and scrotum but have me bend my legs up and put it all up the crack of my butt and on my anus. Buy that time I always had a hard on and I am sure she liked watching me masturbate. I have never even told my wife about this since she also loved Vera for years and I wouldn't want my wife to think badly of her. I know now Vera must have had some type of sexual thoughts pertaining to all of it but I never considered it being child abuse. It wasn't like she ever forced me to do anything sexual and for some reason it never seemed wrong. She did date a few men over those years but I doubt she ever had much of a sex life to speak of. Once I joined the Army and even when I got out Vera and I never spoke about it again. I know now it was probably some type of sexual outlet for her. Aside from her seeing me naked so often and touching me either by washing me or putting on the baby oil there was never any sexual contact between us. I also know now she was a very lonely woman who had few friends. When I think back about it all I am surprised at my lack of humiliation during those years. its obvious to me that she programmed me to a certain extent but I still have nothing but good thoughts about her. It became something I looked forward to then and think I enjoyed her watching me masturbate. She never said much as I was doing it accept sometimes asking me it felt good or would ask if I needed more baby lotion. I actually laugh about it sometimes since its such a crazy time in my life.

I've been renting a room from Carl and Brenda for almost a year. They are both in their 50's and Brenda, even though a lot older than me, is an attractive woman an knows it. Carl works nights every other week and when he does work night shift Brenda always manages to expose herself just by what she is or isn't wearing. Its noticeable that she never wears underwear when Carl works nights and thinks nothing of being in front of me in night cloths. Most of which are either very sheer or to short and positions herself so that either her breasts, ass or vagina are exposed to me. Some nights sitting in the kitchen I get such an erection I want to jerk off right away but always wait until I go to my room. I have been able to take a few pictures with my cell phone. Its clear to me she does this on purpose especially when she invites me downstairs for cake or pie. If she wears the short night gowns I always get a look at her ass and vagina which she keeps shaven. I almost choke on the pie or cake sometimes when she sets back her chair exposing her vagina. The long night gowns are sheer and most low cut that's when she is able to expose her breasts. This never happens when Carl is home so I know for sure she is an exhibitionist and I have no intention of moving. I do masturbate a lot and every night Carl works night shift.

Donna became my legal guardian when I was 11 years old. I'm 22 now and she still treats me the same way but worse as I get older. I've been a target of humiliation for as long as I can remember. I stutter and because of that I believe she thinks I'm stupid. She is a very large red haired women who has continued to terrify and embarrass me since I was sent to live with her. From the very beginning I had no privacy since both the bathroom and my bedroom door had no lock. She frequently came in the bathroom as I showered and also while using the toilet. She never hesitated to spank me many times for trivial things I did. At first she only pulled my pants down but by the time I was 12 or so she made me undress spanking me naked. She often made me undress in front of her cousin Clare who is over 50 as Donna is. The ultimate embarrassment came when I was about 15 or 16 when her niece Dawn who is 30ish now saw Donna spanking me naked. I was and still am forced to get an enema 4 times a year and no matter how young I was when it started its even more humiliating now. I am sure Donna does these things to me to intentionally embarrass me. Dawn has never seen me getting an enema but Clare has many times which only makes it worse. My only relief of Donna was when I was in school and now only when I work at the supermarket. I have never had sex although I do masturbate and that also was brought on by Donna with a suggestion by Clare. I think I was about 15 and I did get erections sometimes but never really jerked of enough to cum. It was a Saturday afternoon when Donna was giving me an enema that Clare was watching and suggested that Donna should shave around my anus and also my pubic hair. I have dark chest hair and did have lots of pubic hair at the time. Donna didn't shave me that day of the enema but a few nights later came into the bathroom as I showered, Once out of the shower She sat on the toilet and made me stand there as she first cut my pubic hair with scissors then shaved me in front of Clare. As if that wasn't bad enough she also made me turn and bend over holding my butt cheeks apart and shaved around my anus and all along the crack of my butt. There was only a few more times I ever cried after that night but I still put up with all this humiliation yet today. She would put shave cream on my genitals and actually hold my penis as she shaved my scrotum. It wasn't until many months went by that one night Without thinking about it I got an erection. Again Clare had to be there and I was more embarrassed than aroused. Donna just looked at me as she and Clare laughed. Donna stood up then with the shave cream still on me and basically ordered me to masturbate. I began jerking off in front of them and don't know how I held back tears. I know it took a long time but it was the first time I ever ejaculated. Donna began asking me how often I masturbate and when I denied doing it she only smiled at me. From that night on I masturbate in front of them every week when Donna shaves me and over the last few years they have actually let Dawn be there. Donna doesn't spank me often but when she does I am always made to completely undress and has allowed Clare to spank me many times. Dawn is here sometimes but she has never spanked me. Even though I am not spanked to often it is more severe than when I was young. They not only use a belt but the last few years Danna has began using a hair brush which really hurts. As much as I hate the spankings it is much more humiliating when I get an enema. That's even worse than when she shaves me and makes me jerk off. I do like jerking off when I'm alone but it still embarrasses me when they are watching me and it always take me a long time to cum. At least I don't cry while doing it anymore knowing how they are laughing at me.

I remember playing "Doctor" with a couple different little girls. The first one was really curious and when we got to the point of me exposing and undressing her, I remember getting so excited. I kneeled in front of her and told her to open her legs because I needed to examine her down there. So she did, and after touching her gently I could hear her breathing in sharp ragged breaths. I remember feeling a tingly feeling in my groin I'd never felt before. Finally I wanted to smell her, for some reason, (I had no idea it would smell sooo good), so I got my face close, almost touching, and smelled. She smelled tangy and I liked it – I spent some time down there inhaling deeply and with every breath, I knew I liked it more. I remember noticing a little glint of wetness. I touched it, causing her body to jerk, and I asked her if she had peed a little. But that made her clamp her legs shut and say "Ew, no!" Then she told me SHE was going to be the doctor now, as she got her pants back up. So I reclined on the bed, and she took off my shirt, and pulled my pants down. She wasted no time, she wasn't even playing, she just jerked my shorts down and BAM, there is was, my hard little-boy boner just sticking out there. I remember her like gasping, and having a sparkle in her eye. She asked me a few doctor-like questions or something, and while I answered she reached out and took me in her hand. Her little hand felt good, warm on me, squeezing me, as if relishing how hard it was. She lifted my balls with her fingertips and I remember that felt really good. To this day I love a girl to just fondle and play with my balls. She tried various ways if sliding her hand up and down on my little boner, and finally at one point she licked her hand, and her spit made her hand slippery, and finally I was getting a proper jerking-off from her while she smiled, wide-eyed. But just when I was so excited and exhilarated, my mom knocked on the door and asked if we'd come out for lunch. Of course I panicked and called out in this shrill, scared voice, "Don't come in!! Uh, we're coming, we're just putting stuff away!" She said something like "Are you ok? What are you doing in there?", and cracked the door open. We had barely got our clothes pulled back up, but it was obvious what we were doing. My mom got mad and made my little friend come out and wait in the living room while she called her mom to come pick her up. I thought mom was going to murder us both, but after the girl was gone, I just got a gentle speech which I don't really remember any of, lol. I just remember feeling the girl's little hand fondling my dick and balls. After that I jerked off every night and day, thinking about her.

I don't think I could ever be in a relationship or even have sex with someone because I love masturbation so much. I believe part of the reason for that is because when I fantasize, I imagine random people interacting intimately with each other rather than including myself in sexual scenarios. Even so, I am not too bothered by that.

I also think it would be hard to communicate to a partner(s) how I like being pleasured anyways because I've developed a specific method of masturbation. I don't need to use any penetrative sex toys or even my hands. I am able to position myself in such a way that I can squirm and squeeze my thigh muscles to create friction. There are even times when I can just tense whatever muscles there are between my legs to stimulate my sensitive clit without touching it with my fingers. I've even gotten myself wet just thinking about something hot if I don't want to go through the trouble of masturbating.

I don't know how common this sort of mindset is, but it would be nice to know if other people have similar experiences.

My friend left me alone in his car after dropping his girlfriend off at work. She had just changed into her work shoes, leaving her sweaty, smelly green converses in the floorboard. While he was occupied inside of the grocery store, I picked up those still warm sneakers and breathed in deep, savoring the aroma of her feet. My cock, which had already been hard from the excitement, was now pressing up against my zipper and hurting itself. I decided to undo my pants and start rubbing my cock right in the middle of the parking lot, whole still smelling and licking the insoles of her shoes. It took me mere seconds to cum, and I cleaned up the mess with one of the socks she left. I kept the other one for fun later.

The first time I seen my mother nude when I was about 12 years old. Mom liked to take sis & me swim to swim in a near-by lake.

Although mom was in her late 30's then and had two kids, she still had a bikini body back then, and also wore such.

One day it was windy and she went to change behind a few bushes just where we been sitting.

I looked over and seen the whole thing: hard nips, bush, butt.

I still think about that and masturbate to the decades old memory. Mom is a elderly widow now and not safe for an rape attempt..